Today I have a sinus infection which means that I'm a lovely ball of phlegm. Growing up with allergies, I'm used to my nostrils taking turns mimicking a running faucet and feel quite certain that YOU have experienced this too...especially if you're from Texas and living around Tornado Alley.
The problem is that I'm sitting in the middle of a room, surrounded by my Mongolian teachers (good friends) who believe it to be rude to blow your nose in public. I don't want to offend them, they are all incredibly nice to me and it's not their fault that our cultures have different social expectations, so I'm going to the bathroom every now and then just to blow my nose. It got me to thinking about several of the cultural social differences that I've experienced while living here for the past two years.
If you're like me, you probably don't think you're as shaped by your culture as you are - then you go to another culture and are slapped in the face by all that is different. It's easy to want to say "Hey! Y'all are all doing this completely wrong." or to be offended no one says "Bless you!"...as if they don't care that I just sneezed.
However, I need to make it perfectly clear that neither culture is right or wrong or more or less superior. I'm not writing this to complain or shame, just to point out the interesting differences in my North American/Texan culture and my Mongolian culture.
Sneezing, snot rockets and spit envy.
I didn't realize that blowing your nose in public wasn't socially accepted until about a year ago when a fellow American teacher here pointed out a sign that had been posted on our teacher announcement board. It stated something like "If you need to blow your nose, go to the toilet." Out of about 10-12 notices on the board, this sign was the ONLY ONE printed in English as the rest were in Mongolian. At the time, there were only two of us English speaking teachers. No doubt who this notice was for... The funny (cultural difference) thing is, it is perfectly acceptable to do a "snot rocket" (close one side of your nose and blow real hard out of the other - the contents of your nose not going into a tissue or anything, just out and on to the ground) in public. Spitting is also perfectly acceptable and Mongolians are really good at it - read about my Spit envy here.
Wait your turn...but only if you want to.
In Mongolia, waiting your turn is only a suggestion. Lines do form in some fashion, however others see absolutely no problem in jumping ahead of you. Especially when there's a crowd. I've watched as a poor cashier gets three or more different people shoving products and money at him/her. If she/he is really good, they can tell who was first and every now and then will tell the others to wait their turn but that is rare. My first instinct when this happened to me was to give them all dirty looks, then to give the cashier a dirty look for allowing it to happen. But the thing is, it's not considered half as rude as it is in North America so there's really no point. You just have to be bold and try to shove your products and money in the cashiers face before the rest of them...or just take a breath and be incredibly patient.
...I've learned to be more bold...
Movie theater rumblings
The first movie I saw in Mongolia was Ghost Rider 2. Aside from the terrible movie, I was in for a bit of culture shock when the mob of movie goers tried to all crowd into the theater at once (see the above cultural difference about waiting in line), the movie started early, no previews, phones went off throughout the movie - and people ANSWERED them in their regular speaking voice volume, and there was always a rumbling like conversations were going on throughout the movie. We get mad when people text during a movie but here, that's NOTHING. I've seen many more movies (good ones) and 9 times out of 10, people wait in line to get in, the movie starts on time, there are previews (my favorite part of the movie) and most people are quiet. I've actually gotten to the point where I don't mind the rumblings as much.
Did your mother ever teach you about staring?
Being a foreigner means I stand out. I shouldn't stand out that much - after all, this country was filled with Russians from 1921 to 1992 so it's not like Mongolians have never seen "white people". UB is FILLED with foreigners from all over the world: Russians, Chinese, Germans, Australians, Canadians, Indians, French, etc. so most of the people living here are very used to foreigners. Unfortunately, many people still stare - most don't mean anything by it, they are just curious and if you give them a friendly Texas smile, they'll smile back. However, there are days when I'm wrestling with insecurity and I don't want to be stared at - my North American culture buzzer goes off and I just want to yell at people to "STOP STARING! Don't you know that's rude?!" It's really not rude here.
Meeting time = TBD
So if you make plans in North America and set a time, we expect each other to be fairly punctual. Not so here. Now there are exceptions of course, you can't be late for school or work but when it comes to other things, it's totally acceptable to be several hours late. The Mongolian people see spending time with people to be a priority so if they are with friends/family and they are not ready to leave yet, they won't. Even if you have been waiting for two or three hours. They will show you the same affection though, once they get to your house, they will spend as much time as possible with you. It may be inconvenient but they are genuinely very warm and friendly.
An open invitation
To go along with the previous one, if you just show up at someones house, whether you know them or not, they will drop EVERYTHING and cook for you! You will get their finest drinks and entrees and will be welcome to stay for as long as you want. Their hospitality is unprecedented and a HUGE part of their traditions. I went over to my neighbors apartment the other day to drop something off and the husband immediately started making this HUGE beautiful omelet for me - I mean it must have been made from about ten eggs, literally. Just for me. Of course, I had just eaten and had to turn most of it away which I hated doing. This is definitely one of the many things I find beautiful about the Mongolian culture. If someone just shows up at my door in Texas unannounced, you're lucky if I even ANSWER the door, let alone let you in and wait on you!! Most likely, I'll give you a dirty look too...unless you're bringing me my nephew or a puppy.
Dinner is served! But just for you for now
Something I found surprising at first was how meals were served at restaurants. Whichever meal is ready first, comes to the table first. This can be awkward if you're out with several friends and only one or two actually have their meal, the others coming seemingly sporadically. Do you eat? Do you wait? If so, do you wait for everyone to get their meal or just most? Mongolians dig in whenever they get their meal - after all, why let it get cold? So that's what we do also - no guilt for starting in early, no worries for being the last one to finish. Nice.
Everyone is a taxi
If you need a taxi, just stick out your hand and one of the thousands of cars on the road will stop for you. In North America, it's considered dangerous and ill-advised to just get into a strangers car but here, not at all. Anyone wanting to earn a little extra money will pick up passengers and drive them wherever they need to go. The going rate is about 60 cents per kilometer but as a foreigner, I usually get charged a dollar or so. I don't mind because usually when I take a taxi, I'm too cold, too sick or too tired to care about getting over charged. Plus, I've had some fun conversations and met some neat people by doing this. It's strange but the truth is, it really is safe here and you can always wave them off if you get a strange vibe from them. I've only heard of one person who got hurt doing this and it's a "friend of a friend of a friend" type of story.
I kicked your foot
I love this one too! If you accidentally kick someones foot, you shake hands. Whether you're on the bus, or walking down the street, whether you kicked a complete stranger's foot or your best friend's foot, you shake their hand! It's so fun - it's like a little "oops, I'm sorry I kicked your foot, let's still be friends and shake hands." thing. I've done it on accident many times and I always wait for a hand to appear out of nowhere. Sometimes they see that I'm foreign and take their hand back like they don't expect me to know what to do about it. But when I offer my hand to shake, I get a little spark of appreciation look.
There are many more cultural differences but those are the ones that really stand out at the moment. Nothing like living in another culture to teach you humility and patience!
Time to go to the toilet to blow my nose again.
No comments:
Post a Comment